Permanent Revolution

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Action Ideas

Pies in the face, lock-downs, tree-sitting, ordering pizza for world leaders, shit-ins, throwing donuts at cops, stealing supplies from work....sometimes it can grow a bit tired. Why not consider trying some of these action:

Fuck-Off's

Hold Fuck-Off's at corporate headquarters, on roads that need blockading, or anywhere else where it would otherwise be business as usual. Most thirteen year old boys can last longer in the sexual act than many of our lockdowns do, and fucking is a hell of a lot more fun than sitting there and pissing yourself while you wait for the cops to come, kick your ass, and haul you away. We suspect that most people would be too stunned to even call the cops if (on their way to work) they discovered a pair of naked hippies going at it, let alone a whole pack of perverts humping like donkeys in their path. You could post security if you want to be outta there (and hopefully satisfied) before the cops arrive. Unless, of course, you're a bit masochistic - as many of us activists are.

Diet for A New Planet

The self-righteous activists assert (in fact their very ideology rests on this assumption) that folks can somehow be awakened -- that they can be empowered, saved, shown the light, or liberated. Or even better, that they will one day decide to save themselves. But let s face it, most people suck. They are neither able, nor willing, to master their own lives, and it's for their own good, and the good of all, if we eat the fucking sheep.

Yes, cannibalism is the tactic we are advocating, though admittedly, it isn't for everybody.

Of course, the media will not approve. To this, we (somewhat predictably) reply, eat the lying monkey-fuckers. The pacifists will be opposed, but they are the most nutritious anyway, with all their special diets and wheat grass enemas.

Cannibalism is strategically sound and is an example of the permaculture multi-use principle at its best. Not only does it relieve world overpopulation and work toward solving global starvation, eating the rich frees up much-needed resources, thus relieving ecological strain while simultaneously helping the economy.

Instead of pathetically begging politicians for table scraps, we can have them for the main course. Imagine...artists and activists - malnourished no longer - practicing with their homemade bows and arrows on the slowest, most bountiful game...while it lasts. So broil a bureaucrat, roast a republican, try some monarch-a-la-king. Pass me a cop-dog (do you know what they put in those things?), saute a CEO, and feast on fascist-flambe with capitalist custard and papal sauce. Just cut out the bad parts and cook the rest well! Some may be too nasty to eat, but we can still hunt them for sport. Of course, for the strict vegans, this tactic may be a stretch....

ROVING Makeover, Massage, Disguise SHACK Protesting is tiring. Take a break - let us pamper you! Our gang of glam professionals will be offering free services for protesters out of the charity of our bulging hearts. We want people to LOOK GOOD. We want people to FEEL GOOD. No more punks...let the world remember the carnival for it's batting lashes, French manicures, crimped hair, relaxed muscles and revolutionary pedicures. Our team of pros will also be offering disguises, pearl necklaces, extra mustaches, bushy brows, beards, massages and makeovers. We want to encourage everyone to bask in the luxury, help-out, add on, or start your own ROVING Makeover, Massage, Disguise SHACK

Anarchy Airlines

Consider joining the League of Radical Toy Airplane Pilots. Add a little free-wheelin', death-defying', loop-de-loopin' action to a world summit.

Imagine: A squadron of black model airplanes flies low over the earth-bound mob of protesters who are laying the summit under siege. Some planes have witty banners streaming behind them, others have mini-video cameras to entertain the folks at home. When the planes reach the security perimeter, they perform tricks, much to the delight of the riot police. Finally, one by one, the planes peel away, and head towards the meeting site. One is hit by a rubber bullet. Another falls victim to a patriot missile. "I'm burnin' up red leader!" screams the pilot. One makes it half-way to the site, before running out of fuel, and crashing through the window of a local McDonald's. Meanwhile, at the meeting site, the self-proclaimed world leaders are posing for the media, waving at cameras, shaking hands, and giving themselves the thumbs-up salute. "Where the fuck did those little planes come from!" For those who can't get their hands on model airplanes, those double-stringed, trick-kites can also be a blast.

Capitalism

At the next summit, set up a booth to sell gas-masks, black scarves, and banners. Profit off the ill-prepared! Have vendors walk through the protest, hawking product to those who forgot to bring the necessary equipment. Protests should be just like baseball games. Consider the revolution as a business opportunity. If you don't profit, someone else will.

Channel Surfing

Sometimes the best action is inaction. Don't participate - watch it on television! If something gets you worked up, intervene by not leaving your couch until your demands are met! Protest from the comfort of your own living room. Better yet, organize your friends to watch television. Imagine what would happen if we all threatened to watch television in protest. Think of the effect of millions of people, sitting in front of their television and refusing to leave. We could even chain ourselves to our televisions, to prevent being dragged out of the living room. Why, the entire world economy would crumble....

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